Wednesday, December 31, 2008

the one word remedy for our problems

Iwas thinking so hard whatmakes people so disappointed and unhappy in life. . My search ended at the word
expectations. what i mean the root cause of worry is toomuch expectations fromthe othe r end. I will tell you how. let us start from ourchildren. when they r small they expect their parentns to meet alltheir needs and we parents r very much ready to fulfill their needs.
so it becomes their habit that whatever they want ,I Mean their needs r met immediately. they gradually develp the habit of instant gratification of the needs. they grow up slowly we start saying no to them. the bad drinks in the cans, the cheetos inthe pckets, the bubble gums suddenly they become frustatred their expectations of their parents lowering they. they use defence weapons like crying stubborness and readily parentns who wants to avoid conflicts again start meeting their needs. when they grow up they want to gofor
mid night partieis with frie nds ,. tours,. ects. that we cannot allow abig no. theybecome frastrated. there start conflicts, then demand for a two wheeler parents fearing safety says no. then sarts war a. cold war a gap develps between parents andchildren. which can be dangerous in many cases.this is chidlrens expectation and disappointment with parents.
Now parents expcetaion from chidlren. whenthey r young they want just the parents company  . they r happy withthem.once theygrow they prefer to be with their peer group. againparents feel chidlren r not obeying the thigns they tell to them. they dont do things the way they wanted their children to do. always rememebr children will do what we dothan what we say.once theyget a job theyfeel indepndent and start spending ontheir needs., without parents consent. here the parent who wanted his child tobevery obedient to him gets a shock. the shock becomes even worse when the child gets married and gives attention more tohis wife and some will go
to the extend of totally hanging aroundthe wife and neglecting their parents. prents so much dispoointments and frstration see the wife as an enem,ywe girls or boys bebfore marriage may have so manyexpectations regarding .ourpartner. but we shol;dnt forget the other alsohahve about us. and both r from entirely different situations so expetitng toomuch and getting nothing is hazardous. better we lower our expectation and accept or try to accept the other as he/ she is. we should keep in mind when we marry we r not binding to one person we r binding to their family both may have their dear ones to betaken care of.we should be ready to share some of love and careto thenm also. afer life is to give and take. inow before marriage everybody has dreams and so mch expectation from the wouldbe. the girl expects the husband to be like the filmy hero and hang around her and give full attention to her. she wishes him to bring gifts evry evening and takeher out the list goes on. the boy expects his wife to belike the actress and
wish her to meet all his needs. as,if he has brought some GLORIFIED AYA. stand in thegate with brave smile when he returns and keep ready coffee and the list goes on and she has tolook aftr evrything along with her work. bellied expectations if not fulfilled ripples statrs appearing in the relationships ego clashes disppointments can lead to many serious problmes. his wife is not an actress or neither he a hero . what happenns in fantasycannot happen in life. or reality. liife or real life is nota flim. we have to accept the othehr as he / she is. the other may not reciprocate theway we want them to be/ sometimes it hurts upto core when our loved ones dont give it back to us. so thehreis only oneremedy we should not expectthem to give it back to us.

another category we do evrything for our friedns and lvoed ones, we say we r doing out of love, and we face some adversityif they dont help us or dont stand with us. we starts bllaming them. weexpect too muchfrom our friends also. that is the root cause of all broken relatinships. so what is the solution. the only solution is to lower our expectation from others.other wise it will make our livivng so miserable tht we spoil our life and+ve energy thinking of their ingratitude cheating mentality we end up in ruining ourlife. better children from chidlhood we should make them accept no.not always at least to some situations we should take them tp shops and come out with not buying anything . so slowly they will learn that all their needs r not met.some decipline we should make them udnerstadn that we parents no whahtis good for them. we should fulfill their needs but not immediately once in a hwile theyshould accept no also from us.
is needed.the children who r not used to no when theywere children it is very difficult for them to accept any no or failure when they grow.
regarding to live is to risk not being loved in return I remebbr i read somewhere


to live is to risk dying
to hope is to risk despair or disappointment and
to try is to risk failure.
but risks must betaken love to be shared we get it back or not.
the greatrest hhhhhhhhazard in life is to risk nothing. a person riskks nothing does nothing has nothing and is nothing.love makes the house a home and love makes the woman a mother. love makes you a humanbeing from a body with flesh and blood.
so we should love people weshould give care but
should lower our expetations. so thatwe can ahve a verypeaceful contended and happy life.
why I write it today. i thought may be i hve sufferend a lot by expecting too much from those  lov ed ones whom Iloved like anything. and where not there for me when Ireally wanted them to be with me. I felt as a lost ship in the huuge ocean maybe from those frineds whom Igave
too much care andattention and help didnt helped me in time. so i thought i must include this in my new year resolutions to lower or not to expect anything from anyubody. it is verydifficlut
but as nothing is impossible this also can be possible. a self help. to make our living a more peaceful and happy one.


if we really want to get along with people and have a happy life we hve to take the pill of not expecting anyhitng in return. just do yourduty as a wife, mother,. friennd or daughter in law. if they want to give well and good. if not it is their problem still yougivie them. how good the world will be. lelt us test this and seehow it works. a samll remedy for abig problem.

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